From the Diary of a Cheating Husband

Its 6 am, I just woke up and beside me is a woman lying with her uncovered back faced towards me and her fair skin exposed through the soft white duvet. She seemed warm trying to breathe an air out of the comforter. Her make up still looks fresh and her hair straightened out as if she had just got in bed. I leaned over her and kissed her nude shoulder and she slowly clutched the pillow in her hand as chills trickle down her spine. I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her towards me and wished her good morning, I gave a slow peck on her lips and asked her “What time do you want to have breakfast?” She responded with a nod. I was still in bed trying to look for my cell phone. And as I unlocked the screen there was message waiting to be read, “Dear Husband, I hope your conference went well last night, you were tired so I didn’t disturb you, have a safe flight back, don’t forget we are invited over for a dinner at Salma’s, be on time.”

Yes, I lied to my wife, I am on a conference in another city, where as I am in the same city and had spent last night in a five star hotel with a lady colleague of mine. Here is what most men will not say: The male ego is bruised by monogamy. Yes its true, fidelity is one of the hardest thing nowadays on earth to keep. For me, cheating was not intentional, but I learned early, that charm is more powerful than money. Once I mastered the art of making woman feel special, the power was mine. I could walk into any room and leave with whomever I wanted – and I did so frequently.

Ironically, that didn’t happen with the woman who became my wife. When we first met, at work, she wasn’t a fan; I campaigned for her. I told all of our co-workers that she would be mine. It took a few months, but I was right. I made it my purpose to give her the world. The problem is that I never stopped giving a piece of that world to other women. For me, having sex with someone else didn’t have anything to do with my significant other; her greatness was not diminished just because I got physical with another person. Instead, I compartmentalized my worlds. If I met someone new and we hit it off, we’d talk, go out once or twice for drinks and have sex. Any guilt was later washed away in the shower.

I have been with my wife for 5 years and had inappropriate relationships with countless woman during this time, including sex with about 20 of them. Recently I started a new job and met a woman I found physically attractive, she knew I was in a relationship and that she was one of many flings.

Is cheating more prevalent today than before, or are we merely more aware of its happening due to media saturation? Or is the rise in cheating due to media influence in our everyday lives?

Cheaters make choices, I do too, but those choices are guided by chemical reactions, environment, wants and needs of the individual, and the state of their self esteem and ego. I know, there is no justification for cheating, as I said, it’s a choice. The right thing to do is to leave your current relationship before starting a new one… that way everyone maintains their dignity & respect is granted too all the parties. But do we do that. As a cheater whether husband or wife, do we decide to end the one we are unhappy with. Or we are not unhappy, we just want a change, a change in routine or probably a little more passion.

Marriages grow, change, alter, iterate, but they can never go back to the new phase ever, You can put in effort to maintain passion and desire… but it still won’t be “new”. But with effort, that passion doesn’t have to wane; it can stay and grow with the relationship.

I know, those who haven’t had an affair ever think cheaters have no regrets… like I used to do it without caring about the after effects. People think, I must have cheated because I just don’t give a shit about anything or anyone but myself. I understand the point of view that cheating is a selfish act, but don’t be fooled. I have massive regret. I feel I left my integrity and honor somewhere between watching the first condom twist its way down the five-star hotel toilet and standing at the door now waiting for my wife to open the door with a bunch of flowers in my hand for her.

If you are guilty or have a different feedback share your thoughts about it.