What If Tonight Was Your Last Chance to Have Sex With Your Partner?

“The last time I remember us being intimate was the night before we were rushed to the hospital after a brutal accident we both were part of… and I just realized that was very last time …. Ever,” I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat as I said those words, I ran my hand over my scarred face, which I had received in that accident and every day still reminds me of the tragic afternoon. Today I am to meet my friend over a lunch, but it wouldn’t be a chit chatty kind of get together, it would be a temporary escape from my reality at home and work Where await endless chores, tireless meetings asking for my attention and so did sleep, which I never got.. It has been exactly 6 years her leaving this world for an eternal abode. Her grave still says, “Here lies the girl who will now be young forever”.

At home the bed that used to hold the most passionate of nights have now become strange, unchartered territory, it has become the bed that now feels like a desert and a rotten orchard. I miss every touch of hers as now that she has been dead for years, I go to bed, my heart aching as I remember all the chances I missed to be intimate with her.

“I have heard everyone saying, sex stops after 6 months of a relationship, but I can tell you that’s not the case, it gets better”, this was an advise from one of her aunt who was very open minded when it comes to relationships. But what she forgot to mention was that it gets harder to make time for it. She didn’t tell us because she also didn’t know – and so didn’t we- that we were walking into the most difficult times in our lives. The first night together when I caressed her hairs, I would have never thought that only a couple year later, I would again be alone in this darkness of this room.

After 6 months of our marriage our normal life struck in, we were just too tired with the home and work routine. She was tired fighting for me and her family, looking after the house and everyone there and I was tired, providing for my family. I was trying to get used to the new routine and it felt like something I couldn’t let her be a part of. I was busy most of the time worrying about the bills, the groceries, the boss’s tantrums, and the presentation to prepare. Spending time alone reading or watching Netflix seemed easier then intimacy. But now … now I spend all my time alone and what I wouldn’t give for her to be by my side again.

I try to remember how her soft lips felt with mine, but its fading more everyday. Before our nightmare, we had started a ritual of writing each other a letter every night, we had pulled ourselves together, we would wait for each other’s reply, and we had started getting ready for each other and give ourselves self-care every day and in turn allow each other to love us as well. We found balance, we found that passion again, but it was too late.

So maybe all you could take an advice from a new relationship turned eternal separation: don’t wait. Don’t push your partner away. Don’t punish them or yourself and withhold intimacy because they did something stupid. You’ll do stupid things, they’ll do stupid things throughout our whole relationship.

The “all touched out” feeling is absolutely real and valid, but try to find other ways to connect with your partner—and remember, it doesn’t always have to lead to sex. Leave the dishes and the laundry for another day, leave the boss’s tantrums at office, and leave the presentation for tomorrow if the “moment” strikes. You don’t have to go all “50 Shades,” but enjoy the gift that was given to you, the one and only gift you can share with your spouse and only your spouse.

Intimacy truly is glue that keeps a relationship strong and vibrant. It’s so easy to let life and stress get in the way, but please believe me when I say, life and stress will be there even if, God forbid, one of you is gone. And, please, never let them leave the house without a hug and a kiss good-bye. Don’t go to bed on the edge—meet him in the middle.

Let me know if you miss your love one, share your feelings maybe we can turn that into an eternal memory.